Friday, December 27, 2013

Summon Berserkers: What do you get?

Summon Berserkers, a terribly useful spell in ACKS when you need a 4-pack of single HD creatures to sacrifice horribly.

One of the kids in the kid's campaign has this spell, so why not make a table? This started off marginally serious, wanting to be a swords & sorcery & planets theme, but quickly fell into cartoon references and the like.


  1. Common Vikings - horned helmet, leather, axes, beards, attitudes
  2. 9 foot tall green men - 4 arms, large tusks exuding from their lower jaws, fluted ears atop their heads
  3. 8 foot tall long-furred humanoids, a metallic sash across their chests
  4. Thick-muscled lizardmen with shiny silver eyes
  5. Humanoids in silver-fabric suits, with spherical round helmets. Golden faceplates obscure their features. Thick silver gloves and clunky boots spattered with a fine grey dust.
  6. Silent men in armor made from whole bones of various types.
  7. Bright blue men wielding long white tubes in each hand.
  8. Bearded men in khaki fabric and pith helmets, harrumphing at the apparent non-functionality of their metal-tube handled clubs, though they seem to swing fine.
  9. White-armored and helmeted troopers.
  10. Squat, armored men with impossibly wide, bald heads, and seemingly  no neck.
  11. Cat-headed humanoids of various types; lions, panthers, etc; in harness
  12. Ridge-headed humanoids in leather; wielding a large crescent blade with handholds on the back
  13. A group of 4 persons greatly resembling 4 people in the caster's party; but in fancier armor and clothes, and with well-groomed facial hair, if the party member it resembles is male and is clean-shaven (or cleanshaven if the party member is not)
  14. Thin lizardmen with rubbery skin and enormous black eyes
  15. Blue suited and helmeted humans, stylized red cobra on their chests.
  16. Long-clawed sloths which walk like men.
  17. Upright-walking insects resembling ants.
  18. Gaunt, blackskinned creatures with featureless oblong heads and a viciously fanged mouth dripping sizzling ichor.
  19. Potbellied, rat-faced creatures with membranous wings stretching between their arms and torsos.
  20. Pig-snouted, tusked, overmuscled green men with tusks and mohawks
  21. Hirsute, toga-wearing men with bestial faces and a single horn growing from their forehead
  22. Wild-eyed men in bamboo reed armor, poles with garish flags strapped to their backs.
  23. Intelligent looking, large-skulled grey apes in harness.
  24. Bipedel fungus, painted in pastel warpaints.
  25. 8 foot tall blue cat-men with prehensile tails, in harness.
  26. Humanoid in plate armor, with round glowing blue eyeholes in their helmet. Moves stiffly with slight mechanical noises.
  27. Clockwork men made of various low-value metals - copper, tin, etc.
  28. Confused, average looking human males in fake-looking armor wielding blunt weapons.
  29. A warrior bedecked in crimson armor, a valkyrie armored in azure, a dagger-wielding man in green leathers, and a golden robed elder with a staff. The warrior looks peckish.
  30. Men in black leathers wielding large, garishly bladed axes; with black-and-white facepaint.

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